💌 Dear Ruksi 💌
Long ago in the context of relationships, a friend told me I was like a strange exotic bird - beautiful and enchanting yet flies away when anyone comes too close, or dances backwards and forwards til they fly away in frustration. 
I know that there are so many mistakes I've made, yet I can't help but worry if I'll ever find a bird 🐦 who will understand my dance... I am blessed to receive love and appreciation from many - I feel guilty to desire more than what I am fortunate to have in this present moment. But my heart undeniably yearns for a companion bird to sing supportive harmonies to...there have been a few who stayed for a short time...yet they flew far away in the end. 

💌 Dear Ruksi 💌
Sometimes, when I sit and start thinking, the idea of time passing by crosses my mind. It scares me every time. Time always seems so powerful, it flees fast and someday it'll even meet its quietus and bring me to mine. I imagine time as a pretty woman wearing a red dress. When I feel like this, she would sit next to me, and she'd stare at me with her gentle eyes and her neverending invigorating smile. I'd make a fool of her and beg her to go, but she never stops smiling. Whatevers I'd say, she'd win. Then, when she had enough of this, she'd leave, and all the fear would go away from me.
It is terrifying, and yet so fascinating.
I'd beg her to come back, and she'd win even more.

Sincerely,
Lady Pocketwatch

💌 Dear Ruksi 💌
I am in this weird place of feeling so unworthy of the blessings & love that has entered my life. I over think. Like is this actually for me? Little ole me? Whats the catch? I'm waiting for someone to pop out and yell "You got punk'd!" Like wheres Ashton, seriously ? I'm not ready to receive, well I don't FEEL ready. Like I feel I have to wait until Im in my best place to then accelt what I've been praying for. Like a gift has been presented and I can't bring myself to claim it. It can't be mine. Too good to be true. This box of limitation Ive placed my heart into. 
Sincerely, 
Incoherently rambling about my insecure illusions trying to rob me of my joy