Posts in dear ruksi
Unable to Live the Present

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ feel that my life has been a marathon of trying to "figure things out" - trying to go from achieving one goal to another - all the while failing to appreciate the journey along the way, to be fully present in the moment. I wonder, will I ever reach a point of simply being okay in the present, not looking too much to the past, nor too far out into the future? 
Sincerely,
Unable to Live the Present

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With a Heart Too Small to Hold All the Love

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ I love being loved, and I love giving love, but sometimes I'm afraid that when I receive love I am ungrateful for it, and at the time I don't even know that such ingratitude is present, thus hurting the person giving the love without even knowing that I'm hurting them.
I'm usually confidant that I reciprocate. I'm told that I very much reciprocate, but yet sometimes I have this nagging fear that this act of being told that I do is simply additional love and kindness being piled onto me, and I'm actually truly ungrateful. I have received more love than any person must deserve, I don't think I have the strength to give it back.

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Not meant to belong

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ With each step I consciously take to be included, I feel more excluded. I feel silly because I often delude myself into thinking I belong, but events trigger that I will always be an outsider. I’ve deleted my social media because it just showcases my world through a window where everyone is a spectator. Now the realization of solitude is a bitter truth to adjust to.

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The best I can do

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ I've recently been introduced to a fantastic new life. A life outside the comfort of my family. I'm surrounded by brilliant people who dedicate everything to excel in their careers and talents. I envy their discipline but most importantly, their values. I cannot decide what I value most in my life. I know this is the only thing keeping me from doing the best I can. 
Sincerely, 
The Best I can Do

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Walking the Tightrope of Life

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ I am overwhelmed by fear of having to set boundaries to seek a more balanced life after diving into spiritual life for the past year while still desiring to start work and be self sufficient. I feel scared to fall too far away from my spiritual practice as I strive for my material goals but if I don't make the jump now, I'm afraid it might lead me to a breaking point where I will drop both. 
Sincerely,
Walking the Tightrope of Life

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In My Own Way

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ I’m overwhelmed by the number of paths I can choose to take. I would like to incorporate all my interests, but since each requires a level of preparation and effort, I have to take some up and leave some behind. So, faced with too many choices and unwilling to let things go, I end up paralyzed. My heart is stretched in so many directions that I am ultimately going nowhere.

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Overflowing and uncomfortable

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ When you have to fill a jar with sand, pebbles and stones, they suggest starting with the stones, then the pebbles then finally the sand. I'm living an upside down life where sand and pebbles make the cut, but now I have no space for the stones that matter most.

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Living in denial

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ I keep postponing feelings which seem too intense to handle whether it was too much happiness, sadness or anger. Sometimes it feels like I'm living at the periphery of life, too afraid or too busy to pay attention to my emotions - I hope I can get to know my feelings better and become a more authentic version of myself. 
Sincerely, 
Living in denial

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Demanding Love & Embarrassed about it

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ I crave affection and attention so much. I even demand it from the people around me, sometimes in childish ways. But however much affection and care my family and friends give me, I never feel quite content and I don’t know what I need to feel happy.
Sincerely,
Demanding Love but Embarrassed to Receive it

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Lost Within Myself

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ I can't really pin point the array of emotions that I feel and because of it, I feel uncomfortable in my skin(and my mind) and don't know what to do with my self.
Sincerely,
Lost Within Myself

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Losing Myself and My Mind

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’ŒI'm finding myself in a place where almost everything I thought I knew is lost, and nothing makes sense anymore. A problem has presented itself where I have to start making decisions that will determine my future and make sacrifices that will change my life forever. I don't know what to do, where to turn or if I'm ready for this. I keep on ignoring this dilemma in the hopes that it will resolve itself and all of my anxiety, fear and confusion would release itself - but from the looks of it, it isn't.

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Broken Hearts Suck

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ I am struggling to accept that a relationship is over - caught between the desire to see the other person move on and grow if that is what is best for them, but regretful and pained to lose a dear friendship nurtured over a few years. It seems that when a romantic relationship ends sometimes the friendship also gets burned to ashes out of necessity and this makes me sad...
Sincerely,
Broken Hearts Suck

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Can't always be there for Them

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ I feel like my peace of mind depends on someone else's progression, and I wish I could take control of the situation but it ultimately lies in their hands, and all I can do is encourage and pray.
Sincerely,
Can't always be there for Them

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Ready to Get Out of My Own Way

πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ Dear Ruksi πŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ With the beginning of a new year, like many, I have a list of goals, do's and don't and a whole lot of motivation to begin projects. But as the weeks turn into months I realize that I sabotage myself from achieving my desires. Somewhere inside I must not feel good enough to be the best version of myself.

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Falling Short of Myself

πŸ’ŒπŸ’ŒDear RuksiπŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ When I see emotions from relationships or events arise and then quickly pass away like sand forms dispersed by the wind, I feel light and free. But then I'm in limbo, because at other times even though I have a vision of a higher reality I am unable to be so detached, and feel exhausted by my taste for the mundane.

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